Valentine's Spies
by mimibeebee
Summary: They walked away casually, so he assumed they weren't suspicious. He watched from behind the bush until finally they turned the corner. Did they like him? Was that it? Maybe he could use it to his advantage! Now he just needed to get a little closer....


**A short li'l thing because of Valentine's Day....**

**I started this on Friday, wrote the spying on Saturday, then concluded it this morning x)**

**Hope you like it!**

"So who's your valentine?"

"Muh...muh...my valentine?" Brittany, who had been on her toes all day, quickly claimed, "Why, Patricia is my valentine!" She reached next to her and threw her arms around her best friend. They laughed, and Malissa was off to ask some more people who their valentines were.

"That was close," Patricia said, her eyes big. They were sitting under a tree, talking about Valentine's Day (which was two days away). Brittany smiled.

"I know! So...who's your valentine?"

Patricia looked away. "Oh, you of course!"

"Then say that to my eyes."

Patricia put on a strained face, making a great effort of looking directly to Brittany's face. "I...well, I'm sorry, Brittany. I want another valentine."

Brittany fake gasped. "No way," she said.

"It's not you," Patricia reassured. "It's me." There was a pause. "OK, maybe it's you, but either way, I'm seeing--" she looked away, flipping her hair "--someone...else."

"Patricia!" Brittany squealed. "Cut it with the drama! You're not auditioning for anything! Now, tell me who it is!"

She nervously giggled for some time before saying, "You know...it starts with an 'a'...."

"Andre!" Brittany screamed, jumping up. "I knew it! I knew it!"

"No! Not Andre!" Patricia yelled, sitting Brittany back down. "It goes, 'a...l...v...i....' You know the rest...."

"Alvin? Still?" Brittany asked. "I was kind of hoping--I mean, I thought you were over him."

"I was, but, you know, he's the only decent guy around. If I were to go out with anyone right now, it'd be him, hands down!"

"But...," Brittany protested quietly, "But you know that I like Alvin."

"Honey, please," Patricia said, "You can do way better than him."

"I...I don't want to do better than him...."

The bell rang. Lunch was over. Brittany's thoughts were all mangled up. She wanted to let Patricia have Alvin as a boyfriend, since she already had him as a friend. But it was much easier said than done.

-----

Halfway down the road toward home, Alvin remembered he had brothers to wait for. He stopped. Then he shrugged the thought off and kept walking. He had more important things to worry about.

He hadn't asked anybody at school to be his Valentine, and he didn't really care either. But what he did care about, was that, according to his secret source, one of his best friends and her best friend both had crushes on him. (The wonders having popular best friends can do!) It was bad enough he didn't have feelings for either of them, but everyone was expecting him to pick between the two. Didn't they have lives or something?!

Alvin burst through the door of the house and threw his backpack in the corner. "Hey!" Dave said welcoming-ly from the living room. "Have a good day at school?"

"Don't you have a life or something?!" Alvin barked and stomped upstairs.

Dave was bewildered. "Maybe...?"

Alvin kicked off his shoes and looked out the window. He saw Simon and Theodore coming up the drive; he got up and locked the bedroom door. But what he saw next peaked his interest. He saw Patricia and Brittany passing by on the sidewalk. They ran into Simon and Theo and had a little chat. Simon brought on the talk; Brittany looked a little annoyed. Then they waved good-bye and Alvin heard the front door open and close. He was also paying attention to Brittany and Patricia as well, though. What were they doing coming by his house? They could take a route home from school that cleared his house by blocks!

Curiosity got the best of him.

-----

"Do you think he saw us?" Patricia asked as they headed to Brittany's house.

Brittany looked back at Alvin's house as they walked. "I don't think so; there was a big chance he wasn't in his room, looking out his window at that exact moment."

"Yeah, and then Simon stopped us right when we were about to strut our stuff!"

Brittany laughed. "I know! At this rate, he's not going to notice either of us!" She groaned and covered her face with her hands. "I can't believe his friends embarrassed us at school like that!"

"What do you mean?" Patricia asked. "You mean when they bugged him to choose one of us? Honestly, that wasn't embarrassing. I was waiting to see which one of us he picked!"

Brittany looked at her. "Will we still be friends?" Patricia looked back at her. "When he picks, I mean. We won't turn on each other, because we're jealous?"

"Of course not!" Patricia gasped. "I'm offended you would think so."

Brittany laughed. "How am _I _in Advanced Drama and you're not? Now, c'mon, let's just--" A bush rustled noisily behind them. They turned around and were surprised to see nothing. "What was that?!" Brittany yelled. "Who's there?!" She took out her iPhone. "I've got an app that can stab you! It's called, 'iKnife.'"

Patricia took her arm. "It's the middle of the day, Britt. Stop freaking out. Don't you think someone would wait until _night_ to stalk us?"

Brittany wasn't convinced. But she had to keep the follower off-guard. "Yeah, you're right. Let's just go before a squirrel jumps out of that bush and scratches us to death."

As they turned around, Brittany and Patricia both leaned into each other and whispered, "He's following us."

-----

Alvin inwardly cursed at himself for tripping. He had to quickly jump into the neighbor's bush on the front lawn. He heard Brittany going on about an iKnife, which wouldn't have tricked even the stupidest of stalkers. Because, duh, it didn't even trick him!

They walked away casually, so he assumed they weren't suspicious. He watched from behind the bush, painfully feeling the seconds crawl by like hours, until finally they turned the corner. He waited a few seconds, then hopped (metaphorically) from lawn to lawn, hiding behind any foliage he could find. When he turned the corner, he found no one on the street, so he assumed they had gone into Brittany's house.

He panicked. What were they talking about? Were they talking about him? Did they want to impress him? Maybe he could use it to his advantage! He could lure them over and have them lookin' good when his friends pass by. That's make him super popular! And maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to choose one of them by Monday. Just maybe....

Now all he needed was to get a little closer....

-----

"Patty, you can have him," Brittany said, laying down on her head, her chin propped up by a pillow.

"Really Britt?!" Patricia jumped up from her cross-legged position on the floor. "Thanks so much! I love you, did you know that?"

"Save it for your boyfriend," Brittany said, the word "boyfriend" in a low voice.

Patricia sat down beside Brittany on the bed. "Are you sure? You saw him first...you kind of have the right to take first dibs...."

"No, no, it's OK," she reassured. "He's not worth the trouble."

Out of nowhere, Patricia started singing _Trouble _by Never Shout Never.

_"'I'm, in, trouble, I'm an addict, I'm addicted to this girl....'"_

Then they were both singing along, just to lighten the mood.

"So," Brittany said, cutting into the awkward silence left after the end of the first chorus, "what are you going to do on Monday? To, you know, impress him?"

"I was thinking I'd just straight-out ask him to go see a movie or something...." She trailed off. She suddenly held up one finger and her eyes looked up. What did she hear?

"What do you hear?" Brittany mouthed with slight sound. Patricia made her stop talking by glaring at her. Then she tip-toed over to the window, soundless. She peered out...

-----

_She's going to ask me out on Monday?! _Alvin thought frantically. He was right underneath the windowsill of the second floor, hanging on to the drain pipe. It was risky, but well worth it, he figured._ What will I say?_ he thought further,_ I...I don't think I like her...._

Before he had time to collect this thoughts, his hands slipped. He grabbed at the pole with all his might and tried to hang on with everything he had, but he fell anyway. Or at least he thought the did.

In his mind, he was already in a body cast, but in real life, he had managed to hang on. He had his whole body gripping onto the pipe. This had only happened in a few seconds, but his mind had been racing with all that was happening, so he was breathing hard at the overwhelming situation.

Basically, thoughts travel fast. And as he was thinking, he almost fell. But he had cat-like reflexes and managed to hang on.

And if that wasn't bad enough, he heard the talking inside the room cease. No doubt they'd heard his struggle. He waited for the window to open, for Brittany and Patricia to poke their heads out and laugh, for them to call 9-1-1 just to humiliate him....

-----

Patricia opened the window a slight bit, just enough for sounds to be heard outside. "Hey, Brittany?" she called, even though Brittany was right there, five feet away, "Guess who's havin' fun with your drain pipe?"

-----

Alvin was beyond embarrassed. He was there, hanging on for dear life, in clear view of his two lovers, caught trespassing and eavesdropping.

How humiliating.

-----

"Alvin?!" Brittany yelled from the two-story window, even though he was 3-feet away. "What...why...when...Alvin?!"

Alvin was trying desperately to hide underneath his hat, and he couldn't adjust it because his hands were busy saving his life. "Um...hi...?"

Brittany looked from Patricia, to Alvin, to Patricia, to Alvin, then both girls disappeared from the window.

-----

Alvin was ready to die. What a Valentine's Day weekend. One thing's for sure: It won't be matched for as long as he lives. At this point, he was half hoping the girls would emerge at the foot of the pipe with torches and burn the house down, so he'd die within the ruins and no one would ever find his shamed corpse. And his other half was ready to find help for his first half.

When the girls came out of the house, it was through the front door, minus the torches. Alvin was relieved; they didn't look like they were going to call the cops.

"Alvin!" Patricia called from the ground. "What are you doing?" She giggled.

Alvin could spare time to be annoyed. "I'm flying a kite. What does it look like I'm doing?!"

Brittany and Patricia laughed. "Look, Alvin. We'll make you a deal," Brittany said.

Alvin was nervous. "What do you mean...?"

-----

Brittany wasn't sure what she meant. Just just knew in her subconscious that she shouldn't let Alvin off the hook so easily for eavesdropping, even if it _was_ Valentine's Day weekend, and it was when everyone was supposed to be kindest.

Patricia leaned into Brittany's ear and covered it with her hand. "Ask him who he likes," she whispered inaudibly to anyone who wasn't Brittany.

Brittany's eyes widened. "Really?" she said out loud.

"What?" asked a desperate Alvin. "Whatever it is, can you make it fast? I'm deathly afraid of heights!"

"Then why'd you get up there in the first place?!" Brittany challenged.

"I...." Alvin really wasn't sure why he'd wanted to know so bad. He figured he'd been desperate for the right Valentine. "I guess I was...kind of hoping...one of you would turn out to be my Valentine." He blushed a little. "Though I didn't expect the moment I asked you to be as outrageous as this...."

"Eeeeek!" Patricia squealed. "Of course I'll be your Valentine, Alvin!"

"Um...I'm still up here...," he reminded them.

"Just slide down, know-it-all," Brittany grumbled. Alvin turned his head to look at her. _Was it really that easy? _He loosened his legs from around the pipe (it took some effort, but he did it without freaking out) and slid down the side of the house.

There was an awkward pause as he landed. "Oh," he said. There was another awkward pause as no one said anything, then Alvin tried to run. But Patricia caught up with him.

"Alvin!" she said, throwing her arms around him, "I'm so glad you decided to pick me!" Brittany forced a fake smile.

"I didn't pick either of you!" he said, stuggling agains't Patricia's strong grip. "I said I was _hoping _you would turn out to be my Valentine, but I think I was wrong...." He trailed off when he saw Brittany's uncomfortable face. He took Patricia's arms off of him. "Actually, Patricia, I didn't pick you."

Patricia looked from Brittany's shocked face to Alvin's satisfied face. "Huh?!" the girls chorused.

Alvin smiled a little smile. "Yeah. That's right. I didn't pick either of you." He didn't know where he was going with this, but he seemed to be getting distance between them emotionally. (And physically; he was taking small baby steps backwards, preparing to break for it.) He really didn't have feelings for either of them. But if he had to choose one....

"But if you had to choose one," Patricia said desperately, "who would it be?"

"I'm sorry, I just don't think of you guys that way." Alvin took one last small step back, and said, "But if I _had _to choose, if it were life or death, well...sorry Patty."

And he took off.

Brittany looked at Patricia; Patricia looked back.

"Briiiiiitanyyyyy," Patricia whined, giving Brittany a small, weary hug, "I haaaaate boooooys. They're soooo stuuupid. Can we just...go do something else? Please?"

Brittany smiled. "Dont worry, honey," she said, "You can do way better than him."

They walked slowly back into the house, the sun setting pink, a thousand Valentine's Days in their future.

**:)**

**Sorry it's so long; I was just having so much fun! LoL**

**It got a little out of control at times....I hope it made sense enough for you to enjoy :D**

**I love Valentine's Day....**

**Have a happy one!**


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